the happy runner

“Do you feel happy to be alive?”

Pink Scarf: “I’m alive, my wife is not, my daughter is my life… when I am no longer living,  will I have died happy?… am I happy?…”

. . .

As pink scarf shifts with the other 12, I pause to see them divide, divide again, and again with their stories +1.

. . .

Stepping back and up, I chose to make a reverse turn; carrying the weight of Pink Scarf’s  words, my body runs away, leaving me in chase.

Double the run, I would have shamelessly strutted, now, a concept of humility has taken harbor in my conscience.  That run, it feels good in completion, an animalistic and primal achievement… glad it’s over!  I hate that I love to run.

Why do I run?  I can run away from the things I cannot run away from.

Back in high school, I was invisible and being a good runner was valuable.  I committed to the visual sportsmanship of the sport but I did not choose this.  I was not the best, I didn’t need that pressure, I was good for I was a slave to the sport.  I ran when I wasn’t suppose to, I ran as an excuse, I ran until I found a finish line.

…now, I look for excuses to not run…

…but running makes me happy…

 

Joy Jane June

24th short 04.09.2019 the happy runner


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