Why would I fantasize about my last breath? …because… Life is all I know.
My only mother, I’ve ever known, passed in my arms.
Looking down at your frail and lost face, dry and sunken, I only saw beauty. Breath slow, weak in motion, I could feel the skip in life pulse a fast depletion. As I held tight, I regretted those days I forgot to thank you and tell you how much I love you.
Our bloods are foreign but the life we had together was what fairy tails are made of. In what interpretation that is for others, for me, you set a path and I built my own passage. I grew to understand happiness, love, strength, forgiveness and growth. Without the experience of a past, my appreciation would be lessened. Thank you and I love you.
As I watched a year in a life, so little time was all we had. I came to the realization, how little I know you. Next door, day to day, hours to minutes, I know you. The you of the past, I know not.
Looking at a woman of maturity, only now, I see the little girl. Vulnerable, scared, worried & guarded, fearless and calm, I understand. Meeting eyes tell me a feeling that swells with warmth deep down in the tightness of the knowledge forever is about to end.
Looking at you, until the end… is how I have to say hello.
Joy Jane June
8th short 03.05.2019 ” .”